Old Dogs, New Beginnings

I never thought starting a new life would be harder than my old one.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Theo's mom stared into his hazel eyes. "I just don't see the point."

"That's exactly why I have to do it," Theo said, brushing blond tips out of his face. "No one, even the woman who fostered seven children in the past twenty years, can’t see why it needs to be done."

She opened her mouth, closed it, and smiled. "What's Bengee going to think about having someone else in the house?"

"I've already talked to him. He's nervous but excited." She laughed, even after these years, thinking it was a joke.

"Well, I'm just here as your ride. You're your own person now." She held her smile in her eyes, but her mouth pouted. "My baby is so big." She ruffled his lengthening brown hair. The blond tips dropped in his face again, reminding him of what he was just over three years ago.

"Stop, Mom! I'm thirty now." And despite saying it, in his mind, just like in hers, he was a kid once again. "Oh, please don't..." A tear ran down her cheek, "Come on..."

"I'm just so happy to see how far you've come." He thought back, "Yeah, me too. " He patted her on the shoulder, and she pulled him into a hug.

He tried to fight it, knowing full well it was exactly what he wanted. "Alright, Alright, " he said, prying himself away. "No tears when I get back! It's Fredy's first day with the family and..."

She wiped her cheek and finished the saying – the one she told him five times before. "And the first day, especially, needs to be full of smiles." They smiled together. Theo opened the door and hopped out of the SUV, then proceeded into the Clinic.

An hour and a mountain of paperwork later, Theo walked back out with a fourteen-year-old basset hound. His mom pulled up with a wide smile on her face, honest but exaggerated. Theo lifted Fredy up and placed him in the vehicle, for he refused to jump in himself. On their way to Theo's house, he explained everything going on with Fredy, from his almost blindness to his inoperable prostate cancer. Which they found that that meant Fredy couldn't control his bladder very well – a bit too late. His mom made a pit stop for cleaning supplies, diapers, and pee pads.

Theo tossed a twenty at his mom with a kiss and hopped out of the SUV before she could give it back. As expected, when he opened the back hatch, she protested about the money. Theo scooped up Fredy, and as the hatchback closed, he yelled, "If anything, use it to get your upholstery cleaned. Smells like dog pee back here."

Theo smiled to himself and placed Fredy on the ground. Even though the walk away from the road to the door was less than six feet, Fredy stopped and tried to pee, twice. This might be harder than I thought. Theo dug out his keys from his pocket and shook his head with a giggle. On the other side of the door he could hear Bengee, "Theo. Theo. Theo. Theo. Door. Theo. Door." He unlocked the door, opened it and was greeted with the long tongue smile that made every day worth it.

Bengee was a beautiful mutt; at just over three years old, he was about the size of a Border collie, with a Labs face and short hair patterned like an Australian Shepard. And the energy of a car battery. Fredy growled. Bengee stood Foxhound still. It was his first time meeting another dog, and he was feeding off of Theo’s nervousness. "Hey, now. We're all friends here." Fredy looked up at Theo with his heavy, cloudy eyes, huffed, and lay down in the middle of the doorway. "Alright, that's a start. ...I guess." Theo was beginning to think Fredy just liked to be carried. He placed him in a dog bed across the room. Bengee still stood in the middle of the room, watching from around the corner of the couch.

After placing food and water just on the edge of the doggy bed, Theo waved Bengee over. "Scared."

"Oh, stop it. He's not going to do anything. Are you Fredy?" Theo said, rubbing the loose-skinned dog. Fredy huffed and placed his chin on the corner of his bed. "See." Bengee crept over, being sure to have Theo between him and Fredy. "Bengee this is Fredy, Fredy meet Bengee." The old dog let out a low, quick bark that set Bengee scurrying around the corner into the kitchen. "Oh, now that was just mean, even for such an old guy." The tip of Fredy's tail twitched in a small wag as he let out another huff. Theo smiled, panted him on the head again, and went to the kitchen to find Bengee.

"Hey buddy," Theo said, crouching down to Bengee, who was curled into a small ball at the bottom of the walk-in pantry. "It’s going to be okay. I warned you this wouldn't be easy. But, like I also told you, I'm going to need you to be able to do this." Bengee's tail began to wage softly. "Now, I promise you Fredy isn't going to hurt you. He might be a bit rude, but he is just playing around." With one rub down his back, Bengee popped up and licked Theo's face. "There you are! Alright. Alright!"

After wiping himself off with his shirt, they went back into the living room. Bengee bolted to the wall connecting the hallway, "Bath. Room."

"Yeah, I smell it too. That was my fault." Theo stopped to crouch beside Fredy, who huffed in response. "Hey, buddy. I'm gonna need you to go outside while I clean this up."

"Outside. Outside. Outside." Bengee said wildly.

"Only till I get his bed cleaned. Then you and I need to go over some more words."

"Bored. Outside. Now."

"Fine, fine." To his surprise, Fredy got up and walked with them to the back door. The backyard wasn't as big as Theo had wanted, but it still gave Bengee plenty of room to run. Which he did even now, looping around the parameter of the fence. Fredy plopped down right outside the door. I wonder if Bengee could help guide him around the yard. Even almost blind, I'm sure he'd like some freedom. Fredy huffed, his joules flapping almost like it was at Theo's thoughts. Or maybe not.

However, when he returned after cleaning the doggy bed and laying out some pee pads, Fredy was following Bengee – with a slow waddle. Leaning against the door frame, Theo watched as Bengee sprinted ahead, waited until Fredy stopped, and then sprinted back into his line of site. When Bengee locked eyes with Theo, he bolted at him, closing the half-acre yard in just a second. "Alright. Alright, enough,” Theo said, wiping the drool off his face. “Go get Fredy. It’s time to eat." Bengee kicked up dirt as he sped away. "And go slow for him! He can't keep up with you!" Theo sighed and returned to the kitchen to prepare the three of them some food.

The two out-of-breath dogs entered the kitchen a few minutes later. Well, Bengee entered the kitchen a few times before Fredy finally did, but they both finally got there. "Alright!" Theo said, cutting off the warm summer breeze by closing the door. "For Mr. Fredy, almost a full can of wet dog food, chicken and rice style. For Sir Bengee, a mix of fine hard food and the rest of Fredy's chicken and rice." He placed the two bowls in front of the dogs, and Bengee began to munch away. Fredy flopped down on his stomach, staring at the bowl. "And for me!" The microwave dinged, and Theo pulled out his meal. "A Man, Hungry. Chicken, corn, and mash–tatoes..." Theo sat down at the table with a sigh and ate the microwave meal he had almost every day.

When he was done he looked at Fredy, who still just stared at his food. Bengee walked off into the living room. "Hey, buddy... They told me at the Clinic this was your favorite..." Fredy's joules flapped with a huff. "Do you want to try some of Bengee's mix?" Another huff, but Theo was at a loss for trying to read the new dog's expressions.

"No. Hungry." Theo's own voice came from the living room.

"Yeah, you just ate." He said back, rubbing Fredy's head.

"No. Bengee." A short pause as Bengee peaked around the corner before disappearing into the living room again. "Friend."

"Oh! Well, that's fine, buddy. I'll just keep it here for you, for now. Alright, Fredy?" Theo pushed himself up. "And that reminds me." Theo chuckled and walked into the spacious living room. The walls were still that on-the-market white – which made his skin crawl, but he hadn’t had time to paint yet. The few posters hung up helped but barely. They reminded him of the featureless white walls of where he had recovered. He brushed off the memories. All that was past him now; now he had this life.

Bengee stood by the hallway next to a sea of buttons. Some lay in a line across the floor; others were on the wall itself. Many were different colors, and each was labeled with a corresponding word. The colors were mainly for Theo, but he liked to pretend it helped Bengee, too. At the sight of Theo pulling a button off the buffet, Bengee pushed one. Theo's own voice sounded from it with the word, "Later."

"No. Come on, this one won’t even be that hard. I promise."

"Bored. Treat. Now." Bengee pressed the three corresponding buttons.

"Either you learn the new button, or you won’t get a treat at all." Theo sent a challenging glare at Bengee. "How's that work for you?"

"Yes." Bengee's tail slowed as he pushed the buttons, some with his paws, others with his nose or head. "Button. Now. Treat. Later." He turned and sat, his tail no longer wagging.

"I’m sorry, but thank you," Theo smirked, and Bengee's tail started up again within seconds. "I promise this one will be easy." Fredy waddled into the living room and flopped into his bed. "Very simple. You see, this button is for 'Fredy' over there." Theo clicked the button, and it echoed, 'Fredy.' He placed the button on the ground in front of Bengee and clicked it again.

Bengee turned to his wall and clicked his buttons. "Friend. Button. Curious."

Theo thought for a second, deciphering the limited vocabulary. "No. It's not exactly the same as the Friend button. It’s more like our buttons." He reached over and pushed the buttons labeled Theo and Bengee. "This one is just for our new friend." He clicked the new button again and said "Fredy" in tandem with it.

Bengee let out a short, sharp bark, "Yes." He pressed, "Friend. Fredy. Excitement."

Theo smiled and rubbed Bengee's head, giving him a treat. "So! Who is that?"

"Fredy."

"Perfect." He gives him another treat. "I told you this one would be super easy. We'll do more later. But for now," Theo lifted himself off his knees and walked over to Fredy. "We need to fix this problem you have with messes!" A few minutes and many groans later, Theo successfully finished putting the diaper on Fredy. "There, that should help." Theo smiled. Fredy glared at him with his baggy eyes and, possibly out of spite, filled the fresh diaper. Theo's smile drooped. In a few minutes, Fredy had a new diaper on. "Alright!" Theo clapped his hands together. "Showtime!" He hopped onto his recliner, Bengee jumped up on the love seat next to him, and Fredy huffed down on his bed once more. Theo flicked on the TV and pulled up their show, and they all watched it for the rest of the night.

"Outside. Outside. Outside." Theo woke up the next day to Bengee spamming the button.

"Okay... Okay." He rolled out of the recliner, went and opened the back door. As he passed through the kitchen, he noticed that Fredy's bowl was still full of the now-drying canned food. "Hey, buddy. You want to go out?" The old dog eyed him with those drooping, sad eyes. "Come on. Let’s try to work you up and appetite." Theo peeled off the heavy diaper and led Fredy outside, gave him a quick wash-off with the hose, and walked him around the perimeter. The old dog would stop, planting himself on the ground for a while, and Theo would just stand there with him, within his short line of sight, talking to him and occasionally throwing a ball for Bengee. 

Two hours later, as the sun just began to warm the summer breeze, they made it back around to the door. Theo let the dogs in and made their bowls again and himself a bowl of cereal with granola. He sat and watched Fredy, who nibbled on the wet dog food, then flopped onto his stomach again.

Concerned, Theo gave the Clinic a call. They explained that his loss of appetite was completely normal and there were some supplements he could try to help make him eat. Theo asked them to keep the medicines on hold, but he would keep trying on his own. Over the next few days, Theo tried hand-feeding him with some success. He tried boiling chicken, cooked chicken, even ham, again to only little success. They continued their walks around the backyard, which Fredy seemed to become more comfortable with and even enjoying.

Theo went to work, cleaned Fredy up when he got home and continued to walk and try to feed him. Then, one Saturday, Fredy woke Theo up from a nap with a deep bark. Theo walked him to the back door and let them out. And to Theo's sleepy surprise, Fredy chased Bengee around the yard, a very loose meaning of ‘chased.’ He would jog a little after Bengee, then stand there, tail wagging, waiting, and as Bengee came back into his line of sight, he would hop and jog after him again before losing sight of him once again.

Theo beamed as the old dog hopped and ran, his shaggy skin flopping about with his energy. He called them in, and Fredy wobbled and flopped the whole way back. Filling him with delight, Theo watched as Fredy ate with gusto. "My boy, you're a whole new dog, aren't you?" Fredy howled with his deep voice while wagging his tail. They spent the day as normal, walking around the yard, talking, and happily at every meal he ate. This is exactly what Theo had wanted, to give old abandoned dogs love and happiness before their inevitable end. And as with all things, the end would come.

+++++

"Theo. Theo." Bengee pushed the button over and over. "Theo. Theo."

Theo blinked the sleep from his eyes and rolled out of the couch. "Hu?"

"Fredy. Scared. Fredy. Hurt." Theo's brain kicked on, forgetting the deep sleep he was just in, and he hopped to his feet, running over to Fredy. The old dog was foaming at the mouth, and his back legs were kicking wildly. "Theo. Fredy. Scared."

"I... I'm scared too, Bengee..." Theo watched in horror as Fredy continued to seize. Not knowing what else to do, he did the one thing he had wanted not long ago. He reached down to comfort Fredy, to stroke his head, to let him know it would be okay. Fredy snapped his head up at the contact and bit down on Theo's arm. Theo let out a scream but quickly clinched his jaw, baring through the pain. The next five seconds stretched to hours, Theo lay there groaning, unable to think of anything but the pain. Finally, Fredy's jaw relaxed, and his shaking stopped. He laid his head back on the bed, whimpering and panting in quick breaths. "Ugh!" Theo grasps his pained and bloody arm. "Bengee! Keep an eye on him."

"Scared."

"I Don't Care!" Theo knew Bengee didn’t deserve him lashing out, but everything in his body was screaming warning signs. "Please..." Theo tried again before running to the bathroom.

Fredy lay unmoving until Theo lifted him and placed him in the back of his very cramped, rundown car and drove to the Clinic as the sun rose.

The vet came and quickly took Fredy away. Two of the nurses dragged Theo into a room to clean and bandage him up. After a lot of painful cleaning, two stitches, and a load of antibiotics later, the vet came in with the news.

Fredy wouldn't make it.

The cancer had moved into his brain, which caused the seizure, which then caused a massive heart attack. He had maybe another few hours. Theo's heart sank, "But he was doing so well. He was finally playing and eating."

"This often happens. A last burst of energy before the end." The vet said, "Just be happy knowing he got to be free like that. If he had still been here..." The vet looked down and sighed, "Sad to say, but he would've been alone, in a cage. So, I thank you for him. I'm sure these last weeks with you were wonderful compared to the last seven months he had been here." The vet also explained that most dogs, though unable to control themselves, are usually completely aware during a seizure. Which, to Theo, meant that Fredy's last memories were of uncontrollably biting Theo. Fredy's sad and heavy eyes flashed before Theo, and he wept.

+++++

Theo spent the rest of the day in a haze, fighting cravings, fighting emotions, fighting himself. He managed to apologize to Bengee, but he didn't remember what either of them said. Theo decided they needed a day out, so the next day, they took a trip to visit his mom.

They arrived in time for brunch. His mom eyed his bandaged arm but didn't ask. She noticed that he hugged without protesting but chose not to acknowledge that either. Nor did she mention his winces of pain throughout the meal. No, she simply smiled, listened, and fed her boy. While Bengee played outside with Leo, a sixteen-year-old boy she adopted five years ago, they sat in silence – sitting just sipping tea. She knew that just because Theo was her biological son didn't mean he would be any more willing to open up than all the other kids she had raised. Especially after everything he'd been through. No, she'd wait. If he needed her, he'd talk.

"Hey, mom. I'm gonna need your help again." She smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course, anything."

"I need you to drive me to the Clinic again." The pieces began to fall into place. "And before you ask. Yes, I'm sure. Even if I may have ruined it in the end, I still gave him a great sendoff... And I have a plan this time." Theo looked into her concerned eyes. He knew that her fear was coming from a good place, but he also knew this was what he wanted to do. For him, for the dogs, and even, in some small way, for her. So, despite the uncertainty he heard in her voice, he would still do this.

Three days later, they were at the Clinic again, picking up a new dog together.

First thing Theo did when they got back home was replace the 'Fredy' button with a 'Rose' one and explain it to Bengee. Rose was a nine-year-old Golden Retriever mix – with very bad arthritis and, as Theo requested, prone to seizures. Thanks to the Clinic, he had everything he needed to know how to handle her condition, from what triggered them to how to give her medication. She got a pill every morning with food. And if possible, an injection at the start of or as soon as the seizure started to help lessen them. Which leads Theo to train Bengee on his next buttons.

He laid one button labeled 'Help' down. "Alright, buddy." Bengee walked to one of his favorite buttons, "I'm sorry you think this is boring, but this is serious. Please." Bengee looked over his shoulder, turned to face Theo, and sat down. "Thank you." Theo gave him a pet and a treat. Rose limped over, her toasted caramel eyes glazed sweetly into Theo's soul. "Oh, man!" He tossed her a treat, "You are going to be hard to say no to, aren't you?" He gave her another treat, and her tail wagged wildly.

"Mad," Bengee said, also staring into Theo's soul – with fire.

"You're right... I'm sorry. Rose. Bed, please." Rose stood there, somehow making all her elderly features disappear looking like a puppy again. "Oh, you are good." Theo gave Rose a quick pet and tossed a treat onto her doggy bed in the corner. She licked Theo's cheek and hobbled to her bed. Bengee sat, his tail not moving, still staring at Theo. "Okay, okay.” He tossed Bengee a treat. “But you have to work for the rest.” Bengee let out a sharp bark. “Alright. So, 'Help' is going to be a hard one to explain..."

Over the next week, Theo did all sorts of things to practice ‘Help’: he'd fall over on purpose, cry out in pain, or when Rose was in too much pain to hop up and down the single step at the back door, he would click and give Bengee a treat.

The week after, they started the second new word, which Theo hoped would be a little easier. 'Medicine,' he pushed the button every morning when he gave Rose her daily dose. Then, a few times, he would lay on the ground shaking, pushing it. He did his best, hoping that he’d never have the real situation he was training for happen.

Three weeks after getting Rose, she still hadn't had an episode. She and Bengee hit it off great, though. After Bengee's jealousy of Rose getting extra treats passed, of course. And even though she had trouble keeping up, it was often she who prompted playing. Her arthritis seemed to only really bother her when she sat, laid, or played for too long. With time, Bengee started to predict this and either made her get up or calm down before her pain kicked in too severely. Theo did his part, too, being sure to give her an aspirin with breakfast, along with her other medicine, and one with dinner. But the inevitable came just six weeks after Theo had brought her in.

+++++

Exhausted from an extra shift at work, Theo let the dogs out – leaving the back door open so they could let themselves back in and plopped on the couch. Right as the opening credits played to his show, there was a firm knock on the door that made it shake on its threshold. Theo jumped out of his chair at the noise. Bengee came bolting inside and began barking. Theo yelled out to the heavy-fisted visitor, which made them stop. Theo calmed Bengee and led him back outside. Rose came in, slow and wobbling. Heart racing, Theo allowed the poor, pained Rose to stay inside before going to answer the door.

"Well, well." The tall, bleached blond man pushed his way into the door. "You're one hard boy to find. I thought maybe they'd put you in protective custody or something." Theo's hands began to shake, and his mind froze as the man from his past inspected his home. "What? No, hello. No, tour. No, 'Hey Grint. Been a long time!'" Grint locked eyes with Theo. Theo just stared back at his hazel eyes. Like emeralds surrounded by mahogany, he used to tell him.

But all he could do was stand, frozen, barely even able to think. "Hmm. Old ass dog, you got there." Rose looked up from her extra padded bed, she let out a single, sharp bark, then dropped her head back down with a quiet growl. The bark brought Theo back to himself. Bengee came bolting up the back door, but Theo stopped him with a single wave of his hand. "Quite a drool bag, too, isn't he?”

"She." Theo corrected and immediately flinched even though Grint was half across the room. He cleared his throat. "What do you want?" He managed to work out.

"Don't play dumb. You know exactly why I'm here." With two long strides, Grint was across the room in Theo's face. "Did you think you could just rat us out, take our money, and disappear?"

Theo froze again, from not only fear but also confusion. "That wasn’t me." There was a small rustling from the corner of the room, but Theo could only see and hear Grint. "I... Well, you know. I wanted out. It just felt like a perfect time."

"Perfect time to sell us all out, hu?"

"I didn't!" Theo squeaked, slowly cowering down to the ground. "I just left."

"Right! And I'm to believe the cops just let you walk." Grint towered over Theo. "With no questions, no trade, no nothing. You know you can't simply leave The Family, not without consequence. You remember what happened to Brian."

Memories Theo was doing so well to forget were clawing their way to the surface of his mind. Things that happened in a haze, things he never wanted to be a part of, to begin with, things that made him want to forget more but to truly root it all out would mean he’d need to go deeper. Or go back to what he was trying so hard to leave buried down there. "I didn't snitch. I just left."

"HA!!" Grint let out a sharp laugh, and something began thudding against the wall. "Then where's the money, and why, ever since you disappeared, have our members been getting taken out left and right?"

"I don't..." As Grint pulled back in a familiar motion, Bengee charged in, barking like mad. Grint flinched, and Bengee ramped up his barking.

Grint backed towards the door like a feral cat. Just barely over Bengee's barking, Theo made out him saying, "I'll be back, and you better have some answers."

Theo sat there, on the ground, in a ball. Fear made time stretch. But then he heard his own voice. "Rose. Help. Rose. Help." Bengee barked and hopped on the two buttons again.

Theo shot up and ran to Rose's side, her back leg thumping against the wall. But it was slowing; she was almost past it now. Theo sat back, waiting, watching, fearing, and feeling only a flake more than complete hopelessness.

Two hours later, Rose was back to her old self – begging for treats and hiding her age. Though she was completely worn out. Another knock at the door made all three of them jump.

"Hey, mom," Theo said, opening the door. She stood looking almost horrified.

"Hey, Hun." Her smile hid her uneasiness. "You mind if we talk out here?" He shook his head, with a new understanding of her trepidation.

"Bengee, watch Rose. Call me if she does anything."  Bengee nodded, walked over, and pressed the Yes button. Theo's mom looked at him with wide eyes. Theo closed the door as he walked onto the porch. Her nerves visibly calmed, and she let out a sigh. "I might have to leave town for a bit," Theo said as her mouth began to move.

"You might have... Why? What's going on?" It was so hard to open up and explain everything that happened three years ago. Could I really tell her the rest of the story now? He stared at her, wishing, hoping, and dropped his eyes to the splintering wood of the patio. No, not yet, not till things were safe.

"I... There's something going on with work. It’s probably just training, but it could be a transfer." Just like in the old days, lies came pouring out without much thought.

"So soon? Where are you going?"

Was she on to him? Had she learned to read him better? Forget it. Your lies are protecting her. The lying to himself came back just as easy, too. "I don't know. They just told me about it today. I'll tell you more tomorrow. I just need to know if you can watch Bengee while I'm gone."

"What about Rose? What about the house?" She watched him, suspicious, but her want to trust him outweighed it.

"I'll take Rose back to the Clinic, I wouldn't want to burden you with that. And the house... I'll worry about that when I learn more about the situation." Theo glanced around the street, unable to meet her eyes.

"Theo... Are you..." The question hung in the air as two Robins flew in circles attacking a passing Crow. Neither one of them wanted the question to be finished. Neither one of them wanted there to be an answer. "Is everything okay?" She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he had no choice but to look into those watery, fearful eyes.

Damn. She has taught me better. Theo squeezed his shaking hand and pushed down the cravings she was so worried he was giving into. "It will be. I just... There are some things I need to take care of. It’s all just stressing me out, you know? They just dropped this all on me today, after all."

She looked at him and held his eyes in hers for a long moment. And let out a deeply held breath and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Alright. Just give me a call tomorrow when you know more. Leo would be more than happy to have Bengee stay for a while." She chuckled and raised her head up to look at him again. "Those.. buttons. They're all words?"

"Thirty so far."

"So, you really can talk to him." She rubbed his shoulder and patted him on the cheek. "That's amazing." She smiled. He tried to return the gesture but it felt awkward on his face.

"It’s a little limited, but yes. If you'd like to come in..." A warm summer wind swept through the silence. He knew better. He knew that all this house was was a painful reminder of how she had found him that night. How he failed her. "I mean..." He cleared his throat, but she spoke – saving him from his stammering.

"Leo. I need to pick him up from school in an hour, and you know what it’s like trying to get through town at this time." They both nodded, and they hugged for a long moment. Then parted ways.

+++++

Theo spent the rest of the night and most of the next day in a near-panic state. He went to work, asked for however much time he could have off, and called his mom to tell her he'd be out of town for at least a week. Even though he knew it'd be longer. He took the long way home, passing by The street. Though the temptation to pull over and talk to one of the shady men on the corner was strong, he managed to drive through without stopping. It would only make it easier for Grint to have control over him again.

Sitting with all the lights off, the TV playing Bengee’s favorite show, Theo started to make a plan. He would leave, he'd pack things up, he'd give Bengee to his mom, and he'd hop in the car and drive. With two paid weeks off work, he could get just about anywhere. And there were Big Ronald's everywhere. With a call to his boss, he could ask for a transfer and, boom, new life. It wasn't the greatest feeling, planning to leave Bengee and his mom behind, but it’d be better for them this way. He could be ready in two days as long as Bengee didn’t slow him down. And as long as Grint didn’t show up again.

In the morning, Theo began to ‘clean’ – packing small things in hopes that Bengee wouldn’t think that Theo was going on a trip or anything. Packing clothes and more important things whenever Bengee would go outside through the open back door.

Around noon, Bengee spoke from down the hall, "Theo."

"What is it, buddy?" Theo shouted from the back room. There was an odd dead air, and just as Theo went to get up, Bengee finally replied.

"Theo. Help. Mad. Friend. Hurt. Come. Look. Living. Room."

Theo dropped everything in his hands. They fell to the floor with his jaw. That's the longest string of words he's ever said! He ran out of the room and down the hall, pride and excitement swelling in his chest. As he turned the corner, his body felt like it crashed into a brick wall. All happiness ripped out of him.

"Pretty fancy setup you got here," Grint said, looking over the buttons. "Do the dogs actually use them? Like... correctly?" Theo looked at the front door; the deadbolt was still latched. "Not the smartest, leaving your back door wide open. Really bad for your electric bill in this heat. Speaking of which." Grint walked in a circle, gesturing to the living room with a waving hand. "How'd you afford such a nice place on a Big Ronald's paycheck?"

Theo tried to steel himself. "It's income-based. It’s cheaper than it looks."

"Mmhmm." Grint eyed him carefully, "Of course it is. So no... extra income? No... Hidden stashes somewhere?" Theo did his best to hide his nerves. Grint could turn a centimeter into a mile. "That's fine. That's fine. Don't reveal your secrets just yet. Needing to rebuild our trust goes both ways."

Theo backed against the wall as Grint stepped in closer. "I hope all you’re doing is some summer cleaning here." He waved to the few packed boxes and bags. "I'd really hate to see what would happen to your precious dogs if you... left town." Grint leaned over Theo like a cat leering at a mouse trapped in a corner. "If you are planning on leaving town. I can always look after them. Until you get back, of course."

Theo's skin crawled. "No... Why would I leave town?" Just agree. Give him what he wants, and you'll get what you need out of it. The thoughts Theo had been free of for the past few years came flooding back like the words to a favorite childhood song.

"Good! Then I've made myself clear? Or do I need to spell it out?" Grint banged his open palm on the wall. Theo flinched.

"Perfectly clear. I'm not going anywhere."

"And you'll bring me my money?"

"I don't..." Grint’s fist went through the wall, covering Theo in chalky dust. “I'll try to find your money."

"Good. Hmm." Grint dusted off his hand. “This place is pretty cheap, after all.” He patted Theo's head, and with that, he left out the front door.

A few hours passed until Theo's fear finally subsided enough for him to get up and let a concerned Bengee back inside. With the fear gone and an abundant amount of somewhat unwanted, comforting from Bengee, some nerve grew in Theo. After all, he had managed to leave Grint’s grip before, hadn't he? He could do it again. Yeah, screw him! I can still leave town. I'll just take Bengee to my mom, and Rose to the Clinic, like I planned. He won’t be able to hurt either of them. I have to do this for them. Theo continued to pack his things through the night, ignoring the panic it sent Bengee into.

It would take at least another full day to pack everything else, which would give him enough time to get things situated at the Clinic. Theo reached across the floor for his phone with the slow, uncoordinated movements of someone who hadn't slept in twenty-four hours. Bengee padded over to his buttons, "Theo. Pets."

"Not right now, Bengee. I have more I still need to do. I'll give you pets later."

"No. Bengee." Theo blinked and slowly turned to look at Bengee, "Theo. Pets." Bengee walked over and lay in Theo's lap, licking his face, much like a mother licking her pups. With his tail wagging he rolled over on his back, pushing Theo into a laying position. Rose trotted over and laid beside him and began to lick his face as well. Hers was soft and gentle, unsure but happy. The three of them lay there together, and between his stress being licked away and their provided warmth, Theo faded into a deep sleep.

+++++

Theo woke up to the sun beaming in his face. Bengee stood over him, face to snout, and licked his forehead. Theo smiled and rubbed his joules, "Thank you."

Bengee walked over to the buttons, "Food. Now." Theo smiled, got off the ground, and prepared brunch.

Even in her old age, Rose was a hard food lover. It didn't matter what brand, as long as it was crunchy. She didn't even like the softer, high-protein chunks of Bengee's brand. All crunch or nothing for her it seemed. So, Theo opened up a bag and poured her a bowl of cat food. She ate with gusto, no longer having to eat around the soft pellets. Theo gave her a quick rub, "Sorry it took me so long to understand." He said, petting her again. Then made sure to pet Bengee some as well, so his jealousy wouldn’t wake. After they all ate, Theo let the dogs out, being sure to stay at the door, watching for both their safety and his. Then he returned to packing, which he finished by nightfall.

The next day, again waking up late, he called his mom to tell her he was on his way with Bengee. Before leaving, he put Rose in his room at the end of the hall, made sure all the doors were locked twice, and prayed she'd be safe for the hour or so he'd be gone. He didn't want to leave her alone, but his car wasn't big enough to keep her comfortable – even if it was just the two of them. Plus, the bumps and turns were bad enough on her arthritis, and he didn't want to do that to her three times for no reason. Shoot! I forgot to call the Clinic yesterday. He placed a reminder in his phone. I don’t have the time now, but I have to do it before they close.

Pulling up to his mom's house, he noticed an older model, grey car that wasn't familiar to him. Oh boy... Is she working to adopt another? Theo parked and walked up to the door; she answered even before he knocked. "I have a surprise for you!" She said with a school girl's smile. "I just happened to run into him on the street a little bit ago."

"Who?" Theo's first, and quickly discarded, thought was, Dad? But she wouldn't be this happy to see him, much less let him in the house. They rounded the corner to the dining room, and again all of Theo’s feeling was torn from his body. He swayed, fear making him weak.

"Whoa." His mom's distant voice said, "You okay there? I know it’s been a long time, but jeez." She giggled, "Guess you still make his knees a little weak."

"I guess my charm on him hasn't faded yet, has it?" Grint smiled, the green core of his eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

"My goodness, Bengee." His mom said. Theo's heart began to thaw and start beating again. As his body came back to life, he could hear Bengee barking, continuous and angry. "Sorry, he's been... touchy with new people lately." Theo managed to get out. He pulled Bengee over to the back door and forced him outside. "So, Grint. How have things been?"

"Oh, I've had ups and downs. I'm lacking a little financially." His face twisted in a grin.

"Oh. That must be rough. Why don't you just go rob a bank? Or something more reasonable like selling drugs."

Grint’s laugh was hard and way over the top. "Man, I always did like your sense of humor." He wiped his left eye with his right hand—a warning sign. Theo tried to think of how to backpedal, but Grint spoke first. "Mom, can I still call you mom, Miss Vandiver?"

"Of course, Hun."

"Mom was just telling me you might be getting transferred somewhere out of state? That must be pretty scary with all your responsibilities here."

"It's just a training thing. It’s only a possible transfer." Theo's throat tightened as fear shook his voice.

Grint smiled, hearing the wavering, "Well! I think that's nice. Hate to see you go though, and now that I know where I can come to get some of those amazing No Bake Cookies!" Theo's mom laughed and waved a hand, telling him to stop, but still eating up the compliment. "I thought maybe we'd see each other more."

"Oh, that'd be nice." His mom said, blinded by Grint's charm, like most people. "I remember when you were over almost every day when you two were just teenagers. Theo was so star-struck having you over all the time. You, too, were so cute together. Now that I think about it..." She put a finger to her mouth. "I don't even remember why you even stopped coming over? You know Theo hasn't dated anyone since."

"MOM!" Theo snapped. She laughed it off, thinking he was lashing out in embarrassment. Theo took a breath, "Could I get some tea, please?"

"Of course, sweetie." She said, heading to the kitchen.

"Still a sucker for flattery, isn't she? Some people never change." Bengee continued to bark from outside the door.

"Yeah, well, some of us do," Theo said.

Grint barked a laugh of his own. "Yeah. Right!" They sat there staring at each other for a long moment. Theo's mom would take her time, giving them plenty of time to 'catch up.' "So, what all does she know? Does she even know about the arrest?"

"She knows enough. She knows that if I tell her you were my supplier',d kick your ass out the door all the way down to the station."

Grint chuckled, "I highly doubt she'd even believe you. So, she knows that but not about the Family?"

Theo didn't say anything, but that was enough for Grint. He grinned and stood from the table just as Theo's mom entered the room again. They gave pleasant goodbyes, and she even kissed him on the cheek. Theo cringed, hating his fear more than anything but also hating her affection towards Grint. If only she knew. …If only I would tell her.

Theo spent a little extra time with her, but it was in a total haze. He worried for her safety, for Rose back home, and for Bengee, who wasn't truly safe here now, either. His life was being consumed with fear once again. Three years of working, three years of betterment, three years of being clean and clear in more ways than one. And now, it was all returning to the way it was before.

Finally, Theo came home to a safe, happy, bladder-filled Rose. She hobbled out the door, seeming a little lost without Bengee leading her. Returning shortly, ready for her bowl full of crunch, Theo called up the Clinic just before closing time.

A voice that Theo wasn't used to answering the phone, despite him spending at least one day a week there for the past year. "Yes, this is Missy. How may I help you?"

"Oh. Hi, Missy. My name is Theo. Is Kaira or Penny there?" He said, trying to hide his nerves.

"I'm sorry. They are both very swamped," The new voice told him. "Can I help you with anything?"

He felt his confidence waver, "I... umm. Yeah. I mean. I hope." Theo cleared his throat and tried to ground himself. "I adopted an elderly dog a few weeks ago. She's special needs. But now I'm going to be out of town for the next few... For a while. I was just wondering if I could set her up there for safety. While I'm out of town, I mean. Not because there's... Would that be possible?"

"I'm sorry again." Missy said, "We are crammed right now. There were problems with a transfer, and we have no openings right now." Theo sighed, of course. Well, at least he'd actually be home to watch her. It shouldn't be a problem, as long as he was home twenty-four-seven.

"When might you be able to house her?" Theo asked, hoping for good news. 

"A few weeks? Maybe. There's a lot of paperwork we have to fill out." 

"I understand. I'll figure something out. Thank you." 

"No problem, sorry again." The kind-voiced Missy said, "Oh, and Theo. A visit is whispered on the wind." The phone clicked off, but Theo still held it up to his ear. Theo's spine tingled at the Family's code. It either meant a higher-up was coming to visit and/or that a ‘Disownment’ was going to happen in your squad. And knowing Grint was on his tail, it could mean both. Moreover, Theo was having trouble processing where the warning came from. Would Grint really put an informant at the Clinic just to mess with him? Were they there to hurt Rose if he had managed to get her emitted? What was Grint playing at? One thing was for sure, there was no way a member of the Family would set themselves up at the Clinic to help him. Was there?

Just as he was warned, the next night, Grint visited. He didn't break in. He didn't sneak in; he simply arrived at the front door and knocked. And almost not in control of himself, Theo let him in.

He had no choice; it was Grint. He couldn't fight. He'd never win.

"Windy as hell out there tonight." Readjusting the leather jacket he always wore, the one Theo had got him so long ago. The room hung in a void for a long time. Cars with their lights on drove by, casting odd shadows into Theo's home. The house creaked as the hard winds outside pushed against the unmoving walls. "What? You’re not going to talk to me? You think that'll solve everything?" He said, walking in a circle around the living room, frowning at the innocent Rose lying in the corner when he passed. "Fine, I'll talk. And, as always, I'll be honest with you." Theo scoffed. "Really? Name one time I lied to you. Maybe I didn't always give you all the information, but you didn't need all the information. But what I did tell you, it was never a lie, was it?" And as much as Theo wanted to argue, as much as he wanted to give him an example... He couldn't. Not a single time came to mind. Though most of back then was hazy.

Theo dropped his head in defeat, and Grint continued, "I'm not actually mad about the money. Though the Family could use it right now, with many of our key members getting sent to the slammer, income is running low. On that note, I'm not upset about the members getting arrested, either. With them gone, I've been able to climb the ranks quicker than ever before." Grint walked over to Theo, who started to curl up. His shoulders push up to meet his ears, knees bend, and head ducking down into his chest. "No. I'm not truly bothered by any of that. What I am angry about." Theo flinched at the word, ‘angry.’ "Is that you left. You, the one who had always been by my side. My left hand. You left me no warning, no goodbye, no letter." Grint placed a hand on his head. "Sure, I’m almost head of the Family now. But all I've gained is pointless without you by my side. Look, I understand. I was scared when the five of you got arrested, too. I probably would've done the same thing, rat some people out for freedom. I get it. And, I'm willing to overlook it; complete forgiveness. I just want you back. I miss you, Theo." 

Theo stared into his eyes and saw his truth; in Grint's own twisted way, he truly meant it; enough to form tears over. Maybe their relationship wasn't as bad as it seemed; maybe Theo could get through. With Bengee by his side, and now that he was clean and sober. Maybe this could be different. In spite of himself, he smiled. Maybe it would be okay. Grint smiled back, "I have something for you." He reached into his leather jacket. The one he had wrapped around Theo so many nights while they waited for a contact to show. The jacket Theo spent weeks saving for to give to him on his birthday.

Grint pulled out a small syringe from the inside pocket. It had a tiny amount of blue liquid in it, a liquid Theo was uncomfortably familiar with. "I know how much you've been wanting it. I saw you drive by the Corner a few nights ago." He placed it gently on the buffet. "And like usual, it’s all yours. I still don't use." Theo's heart beat so hard, he felt it in his ears. His body screamed, fighting against itself to just reach out and take it. Well maybe... maybe using again wouldn't be so bad. I mean... Flashes of his mom opening the door. Her face over his, her panicked, fearful face. Theo's hand stopped just over the needle. Grint's smile widened. "Oh, and one more thing." He said, pushing Theo's hand to rest on top of the syringe. "The dogs have to go. I can't stand them, and they'll be bad..." 

"Get out," Theo demanded. 

"Excuse me!?" 

"Get the hell out!" Theo stormed over to the door and swung it open. "Get Out of My House!" 

Grint laughed, but fury danced in his eyes. "Really? Those flea bags mean more to you than our entire relationship?" 

I don't have to explain myself to you, "Get Out, or I'm calling the cops. I'm sure you have more than just that one needle on you." Grint raised his hands, surrendering, a vein bulged on the side of his head. 

"Alright. Alright." He walked out the door, "But you'll be back. We're not..." Theo slammed the door in Grint's face.

Two hours after Grint had left, Theo's heart was still pounding in his chest. He paced up and down the hall. He made Grint angry, and people don't make it long when Grint was angry. Not even Theo; one way or another, he'd have his pound. Theo tried to calm himself; he counted his footsteps, he named objects around him, and he took long, slow breaths. But just a second thought of slamming that door in Grint's face brought him right back, on the verge of a panic attack. There was only one thing that calmed me down when I was like this. Theo thought, still trying to wear down the carpet in the hall. He chewed his fingernails and peeked around the corner into the living room. It IS still there. He pulled himself away and began back down the hall. No, no, no. I can't. There's no way. He made it back to the living room. Well, I mean... It won’t be that bad; it’s not even a milliliter. Flashes of that night reminded him of what not even a milliliter could do when your body wasn't used to it. And paced more, fought more, and remembered that awful night. The reason his mom wouldn't enter his home, the reason he wanted to be there for these dogs in their time of need, the reason he had almost died.

He knew what he had to do. There was only one answer. Only one way out of this terrible turmoil.

He walked over to the buffet, grabbed the syringe, and walked into the kitchen. He stood at the sink. He uncapped the needle. His arm stretched out, his head hurting from the pounding of his heart. He pushed down on the plunger, squirting the blue liquid into the sink, leaving just a few drops in the syringe.

"That should be enough." He whispered to himself. Deep in the back of his mind, hoping someone would hear him. Someone would stop him.

He lifted his sleeve over his shoulder and moved the needle to the skin, just like getting a shot. But this will make me feel better instantly. This will Fix everything. He pushed the needle closer, determined, ready for the wave of relief.

The phone rang. Theo jumped, and the syringe flew out of his hand and into the sink, hanging over the drain. The phone rang again, and he pulled himself away.

"H...Hello." Theo spoke through the lump in his throat and sat on the ground in the living room.

"Theo? Is everything okay?" His mom said from the other line.

"I... Yeah... I'm okay. What's going on?" His chest was tight, but his heart was slowing.

"I... Well. I don't know. Bengee was just barking like mad. I tried everything and he just wouldn't stop. So I was calling you to see if you knew what to do. But... Well, he just stopped." His mom said, confusion in her voice. "Such a weird dog."

"He's a lifesaver. Goodnight."

"Good night, Hun." 

"Mom?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you."

"Oh. I love you too, Theo."

Theo dropped the phone. Feeling completely hollow, completely worthless. Six months of rehab before and after his relapse, a year of self-control training, and two years of being sober. And he almost threw it all away.

Rose hobbled over to him and laid her head on his lap as he wept.

+++++

Theo woke up a few hours later as a car's lights danced through the living room. His body ached from sleeping in an awkward sitting position. Rose echoed his groans as she stood. He walked to the back door and let her out, closing the door behind her. Drained and feeling almost as bad as if he had used Fix, he walked to the sink. The syringe and uncapped needle still sat there, staring, tempting. He carefully picked it up, pushed the plunger the rest of the way down, and rinsed out the sink. He threw the needle into an empty pasta box, put that in the trash, and carried it out to his trash bin in the garage.

After letting Rose back in, he collapsed on the couch, reliving the night. If I had used the Fix, I wouldn't have to be thinking about all this again. Of course, it’s possible if I used it I wouldn't be thinking at all. He shook off the thoughts and dropped his head over one arm of the recliner and his legs over the other. Rose came over and licked his face before going to lie down.

Trying to free his mind of all the ways that tonight could have gone, Theo's brain kept coming back to a different thought. One that wasn't foolproof but that might just work out in his favor. Theo walked back into the garage; even though it was almost two in the morning, it was still quite warm. He pushed around some things on the metal shelves and pulled down a dusty, red cloth bag. Even after a down payment on his house, even after the rehab and therapy, and even after everything he used to turn his life around, there was still a few hundred left in the bag. Of course, I took the money; who wouldn't have? But rat? "I've never been a snitch." He grabbed a few twenties. And hid the bag again. It was just as much my money as any of theirs. He hopped in the car. Thursday night, Goony should be working the corner. It's like it was meant to be.

About an hour later, Theo arrived at the dark and unlit street corner. He pulled up to the third telephone pole, rolled down the passenger's window, and flicked his high beams on before turning off his lights completely. A figure moved down the street. Theo waited and watched as they turned down an alleyway.

"Hey, man." A raspy voice said from the open window. Theo jerked, turning to the new voice. "Oh, shit! Theo?"

Theo blinked, his exhaustion catching up with him, moving slowly and sluggish as he leaned closer to the passenger side. Maybe this was a mistake. "Hey, Goony."

"Oh man, long time. I heard you went straight and narrow. And some other... rumors. Hey, did you know they busted Denny last week? Some bullshit that his tail light was out had three liters in the back of his car. So fucked, man."

"So fucked." Theo forced the friendly banter.

"But you don't care about that. I can tell why you're here." Goony winked and smiled, a mouth full of broken teeth. "I knew you couldn't have gone straight. Not with how much you used to use."

Theo produced a quick smile, "Talkative as ever, hu, Goony." He flashed his jagged teeth again. "I just want a mill or two. Just enough to get through to payday." Goony nodded knowingly, easily expecting Theo to be back again the next night. "But Goony!" Theo said, staring at the plump man in his deep brown, almost black, eyes, "You can't tell Grint I was here. Okay? I've been picking my stuff up across town just to avoid him. Please." Theo flashed the two extra twenties.

"I'm the bluest, T" Theo knew better. Goony would tell at least three people he was here by the time he pulled out, but that's what Theo wanted. He wanted Grint to think he was using, wanted to give him that hope of control.

They made the exchange, and Theo drove home, being sure to follow every rule of the ride to a tee. If he got pulled over with these in his possession, so much for a new life.

Theo crashed as soon as he got home. After emptying out the poison he had just bought into the sink. He woke up a few hours later, took care of Rose, and crashed again.

When he woke up again, it was due to the sound of a car door slamming. The headlight flicked off, and Theo was in total darkness. He got up off the chair, adrenaline beginning to course through him. He wanted more time to prepare, more time to think. He took some deep breaths and counted. Something slammed against the door, pounding it hard. Theo's heart skipped a beat, but he was able to keep it from racing. "One second!" Theo groaned. He hoped his tiredness could be passed for being on the other side of a bender.

He opened the door. Grint stood before him and checked him up and down. "Same clothes as yesterday, unshaven. You are using again." He smiled and pushed past Theo, slamming the door behind him as he did so. "A little bird told me you came by my corner last night. I couldn't believe it. Said you looked like you needed Fix real bad." He grinned and walked into the kitchen. Theo followed, slow and unsteady. Grint opened the trashcan where the two syringes Theo had emptied lay. "Old habits die hard, don't they?" He looked at Theo with a devilish smile.

"I... I uh. Do you have any more..." Theo said, not having to feign the nerves in his voice.

"I do, my boy." Grint moved to the couch and patted it for Theo to sit on. Theo meandered his way there and dropped in beside him. "I have all you want, just one question." Theo looked up, blinking, "When will you be getting rid of the dogs?"

"As soon as the Clinic opens up." Grint's face twisted, displeased. "Or we can just leave them on the side of the highway somewhere." Grint smiled again and pulled out another syringe that was about a mill and a half of the blue liquid.

"My goodness. Plan on dragging this out for a few days?" Theo's palms grew sweaty, and his body tensed at the possibility of taking Fix again. He was eager, he was scared, but most importantly, he was determined.

"I just thought, since you finished off two mills last night, this would be about enough for you tonight."

"Would you... join me? Just this once. I was so lonely last night... If we could take it together..?" Theo let the temptation hang in the air. Grint had talked about trying Fix all the time back in the day but always claimed that the money was too good to use it all up himself. "Just this once, please."

Grint gave his devil smile, "For you, just this once."

Theo only let a little of his excitement show, just enough. Grint held out the syringe to Theo. "You first," His smile dropped slightly, "I wouldn't want my man to use a dirty needle." Grint thought for a moment and then nodded.  He stuck himself and pushed in just a drop or two. Theo waited as Grint began to melt into the couch. He waited a few seconds more. Then, grab the needle, still in Grint's arm, and push the plunger all the way down. The skin around the needle turned blue for just a moment as the rapid flush of chemicals entered him. Grint jerked away, fear in his eyes, and fell to the ground, seizing. Theo ran to his phone in the kitchen and dialed the police. He told them that there was a madman in his house, possibly drugged, and he was scared. They gave him instructions to stay calm, to hide, and that there was a cop just down the road.

A moment later, lights danced in Theo's living room. Rose perked up at the sound of a car door closing. Theo ran passed Grint, who lay face down, unmoving, and whipped the door open. "Help! Please! He came in screaming at me and then just fell over, jerking around. And he... He..."

"It's totally fine, little T." A hard wave of vertigo hit Theo. He swayed but managed to stay upright; his eyes locked on a completely composed Grint.

The cop looked to Theo and then to Grint, one brow reaching for the sky. "I... He... Th..." Theo deflated.

Grint smiled and winked at the cop. "Go ahead and shut the door, Rim." The cop shrugged, pushed Theo into the living room, closed and locked the door. "You made a big mistake. Well, not just one, but the biggest was thinking I was as stupid as you. Really making me question how you trapped so many of the other members." Grint turned to the cop, "We need to get smarter members." Rim nodded. "If you had taken what I gave you the other night or even what Goony gave you last night. All this would already be over. You could have gone peacefully. Just faded into the night. But now…" Grint chuckled. "Now it's going to be So. Much. Worse!"

Theo, still on the ground where Rim had pushed him, crawled, pushing his back against the buffet. "But how? I... You took so much. An...And..." Theo looked at the cop standing between him and the door.

Grint stood there just smiling for a long moment, letting Theo's mind reel. "We've been trying to find something safe to cut the Fix with. But I won’t bore a dead man with the details."

Theo's eyes widened, and he scrambled toward the hallway. The cop snatched him up, wrapping his arm around Theo's, forcing them behind his back. Theo squirmed, barely able to move, much less break Rim’s grip. "Please, I didn't..." Grint punched Theo in the side, and pain rattled his small frame. Theo strained to kick out at Grint, only increasing the pain. But it was too slow. With ease, Grint moved out of the way and punched his other side.

"You know. You thought your life was bad with me. But think about it now. You never wanted for anything; I fed you, sheltered you, gave you what you wanted, and kept you in a state of bliss. And you left me with no warning, no... nothing! All that for what? A few grand, a dead-end job, and a house full of fleabags." Grint vented his anger with another blow to Theo's side. Theo felt something crack. The pain was all he could think about. Grint continued. "I was willing to lose the other four that got arrested that night. But you... I was willing to spend every dime to bail you out. And what happens?" Another blow, Theo was seeing spots. "You just walked out on the Family, of the station, Of My Life!" Another blow. "And then you started taking everyone else away from me..." Grint punched Theo in the stomach and he expelled what little content there was in it. Theo wanted to take satisfaction in throwing up on his attacker, but his vision was fading into black. Grint kept talking but Theo only knew pain. He was hit at least once more before everything disappeared. The release was sweeter than any time he'd used Fix.

+++++

The afterlife wasn't what he expected; his body still ached, and there was something warm and wet that kept rubbing his face. "Oh God, not again." An angelic voice said from over him. The worry and fear in the voice made him determined to open his eyes.

Due to the blinding light around him, his vision took a long time to come into focus. A large dark mass moved in front of the light, and the warmth rubbed against his face again. "Theo! Can you hear me?" The dark figure moved away, and things started to focus more.

"Theo. Hurt. Theo. Help. Theo. Medicine." Theo blinked. It was so odd to hear his own voice echo back at him. Wait, I didn't say that. He looked to his left, and there was... The back of my couch? To his right, Bengee stood, licking his face again. 

"Oh, thank God! Theo!" His mom almost dove on top of him. Theo's pain surged through him at her weight. He managed to raise an arm and hug her back.

His arm dropped back to the floor with a thud. "Ow." He said plainly. She apologized and got off him.

Despite his protest, his mom called an ambulance. He spent the next few hours dodging questions and doing his best to avoid getting admitted. After some x-rays, bandages, and some pain relievers, Theo was finally discharged – against medical advisement.

The silence was hardly bearable as his mom drove them back to her house. They had a quick dinner, leftover spaghetti, and some tea. Through it all, his mom just sat there expecting but not pushing. Around midnight, after some good, soft, yet still painful lovings from Bengee. Theo's mind exploded with guilt, "ROSE!!" He shot up, ignoring the throbs in his sides. "I have to..." Theo turned and saw his mom's face. And the pain in his ribs was nothing compared to what was in his heart.

His mom told him she was dead when they got there. Apparently, Bengee was causing a ruckus again – non-stop barking. And after the third time of trying to call him, with no answer, she just drove to his house. That's when she found them both. "Theo...  She... You... And... There was a needle on the floor. And you... looked... like... Like." She began to cry, a deep, fearful mom's cry. Ignoring the aching in his side, he held her close.

"I promise, mom, I'm not using again.... I just..." Unable to hide it anymore, he let it all out. He told her about the gang, about the drugs, and Grint – then and now. He told her about the robbery and the arrest and how he hid the money before getting caught and picked it up later. He told her everything and it felt like a boulder lifted off his chest. And she did exactly as he needed, she didn't ask questions, she didn't judge him, she sat and listened, holding him after.

A few days came and went. Theo stayed at his mom's because she wanted him to, but mainly because he needed it. She took care of him, fed him, made sure he took his medicine and was there for him when he needed it. When she wasn't there, Bengee was. Anywhere he went, Bengee had to be right next to him, watching TV, eating, using the bathroom, showering, though he wouldn't get in the shower with him, just stand outside of the curtain and peek in from time to time.

But Theo knew the truth; he knew he wasn't safe. Grint didn't make mistakes. He had watched him 'teach people lessons' too many times to know... This isn't over. Three days after his beating, just as it was becoming easier to breathe without wincing, the dreaded phone call came. Though to Theo's surprise, not from who he expected.

"Theo Vandiver," the female voice said, hiding behind an Unknown Call ID. He confirmed, "I have very sensitive data about the passing of your dog, Rose. If you ever want to be able to adopt again or keep your current dog now, you will meet me in the alley behind Shake Queen tonight at nine."

"What? What are you even talking about?"

"Rose died to unknown causes... We did an autopsy..." She let her statement hang in the air, expecting.

"O... Okay. What'd you find?" Theo asked, clearly not giving her the reaction she wanted.

"Oh. Oooh... He didn't do it in front of you?" She sounded taken back, "I just assumed... I mean, it was Grint... And he told me... So I... thought. Shit! This is not going... Man..." Theo heard a hard huff. "Look, Rose was killed by Fix. If I give the Vets this blood workup, they will lose all rights to own a dog. Probably for life."

The shot to Theo's gut felt like Grint's haymaker all over again. Of course... I forgot about one of Grint's favorite things, manipulation, blackmail. He agreed to meet the woman. One way or another, his fight was over. Grint had him.

Theo was thankful he didn't see Grint's car as he pulled into the parking lot. Knowing him, he'll show up about halfway through this meeting. Just to see me squirm. Which, even knowing that he most likely still would. Theo groaned and gasped, overexaggerating only a little, as he pulled himself out of his mom's car. The warm summer's night breeze swept through the almost vacant parking lot, yet somehow, a chill ran up Theo's spine. Rounding the corner to the designated meeting spot, he saw a figure waiting in the middle of the alley. 

She stood in between the only two lights in the back alley. Her hair was wrapped in a tight, small bun. Theo respected her beauty but wasn't distracted by it. He also gathered she was a user of Fix, which only made this worse. Users were unpredictable off of Fix; they'd do almost anything to get their next dose, he knew from experience. And they weren’t much better on Fix, either. "Finally!" Her familiar voice snapped, echoing in the alley. She cleared her throat, clearly not meaning to be that loud.

"It's nine o'clock exactly," Theo said, watching her closely.

"I said eight... No.. No. I said nine. Shit." Her shoulders dropped back, and she huffed to the sky. "It's fine. Alright, are you ready to hear me out?"

"I’m ready for you to give me those papers so I don't lose my dog to something I didn't do." He said with more force than he thought he had. She raised her hands, stepped forward, and held out the papers.

"Look, I only did that because he asked me to. I mean... I already knew... I just... I've been having to play nice. They've been watching me too."

Theo connected some dots, "Missy? You're the plant in the Clinic."

She pretended to curtsy. "At your service." Theo looked at her, looked at the papers, and turned to leave. "Hang on!" She jogged after him. "I'm on your side. I gave you a warning, didn't I?"

"Barely." Pain twinged up his side as he pulled away from her grip on his arm. Placing her right under one of the lights, he turned to study her face, just in case. "What do you want? Who are you?"

"I'm the one they think you are." She took a deep breath. "I'm the Rat." Theo swayed, staring into her honey-brown eyes. "I was one of the five that also got arrested that night. I begged, I pleaded, I told the police everything. I wanted out so bad... The things the 'Family' put me through..."She said Family as if it was fresh, black cancer. And she told him – everything. And he was surprised how much of a mirror it was to his story. Only much worse, for he was controlled by one man. She changed hands almost weekly, sometimes even nightly. She forced herself to stop sobbing. "And you know what the police did? Fucking pigs held me in jail for three weeks, and released me on 'good behavior.' Then made me work for them. Sent me right back in! ... I mean," She teetered from leg to leg, looking up to the sky, "their plan has been working. But I'm still having to deal with the same shit I wanted help from."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I have one left. One more they want me to help them catch. And from what I understand, my feminine wiles won’t work on Him."

"Grint."

"You got it. Want to hear my plan?"

A burning desire flamed in Theo. It’s what he had wanted for so long. To get rid of Grint. To have him locked away for good. It was bliss. "I'll do it. I don't care what I have to do. I'm down."

Her eyes widened, but she quickly replaced it with a smile. "First things first. I've been dying to know how you got released. And what happened to the money?"

Theo smiled back, "If I had the money, I wouldn't tell you. But as for the release..." He took a deep breath. "I was caught in an alley two streets down from the bank. They nabbed me because I... well, I looked like a User. They didn't have anything to tie me to the robbery. So, I played my part. I just acted like just some dumb junkie. They held me for a day but then released me. I took my chance and I ran."

Missy complained for a long while about her big mouth, his quick thinking, and how much she hated how lucky he was. But when she was out of breath, and her Fix was clearly starting to wear off, she opened up to him about her plan. How she had trapped all the other members. How she wanted to trap Grint.

"That won’t work," Theo said.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I tried it already." Theo held up the papers and then, with soft, careful movements, lifted his shirt to show his green and purple chest. "Plus, I don't know when or how, but he has a cop working for him. Rim is all I know him by."

"Tall, blond-headed, strong jaw?" Theo nodded, "Damn... Okay, we have to do this tonight. He saw me come to the station today. And I'm not willing to run into him in a gang meeting, and he put three and three together, you know? And at least we know he worked the day shift. So, we shouldn't have to worry about him being there for the bust."

"I think I might have a plan. If you don't mind following my lead?" Missy smiled, and Theo saw the person she would've been if none of this had happened to her. It made him smile and ache.

Theo called Grint and told him he wanted to meet. "I'm done. You've won. Just... Promise me that Bengee will stay safe with my mom, and I’m yours."

Theo could hear Grint's grin as he agreed. In just an hour, they would meet 'Where they made their connection.' Also known as the place Grint first gave Theo Fix, an abandoned warehouse a few blocks away from The Corner. Theo agreed for Grint to shoot him up, to make Theo a slave of Fix once more.

All while Theo did this, Missy called her contact in the police, so they could get a team ready. She spouted off code words and odd phrases that Theo couldn't follow, and for a moment, Theo worried. Worried he'd been set up, worried he was slipping right into Grint's trap. No, he didn't have time for doubt. He had to follow through. One way or another, this was the end of his fight, and he'd put everything he had into winning, even if Missy was on Grint's side. Theo wouldn't just give up, so he made one more call while Missy was still on her phone call.

After everything was set up, Missy and Theo parted ways. Theo could hear Bengee's barks echoing as soon as he stepped out of the alleyway. He got to the car and hugged Bengee tightly. "Sorry. That went a lot longer than I said. But at least I came back, right?" Bengee's tail stopped wagging for just a moment. "We have another errand, and it'll all be over." Bengee's tail didn't start wagging again. Not for a long time.

Theo pulled over just before turning the corner to the street with the warehouse on it. He asked Bengee to get in the back and threw a blanket over him. "Now, please, no matter what, just lay here. Still and quiet." Bengee whined but stayed still. "It'll be okay."

He parked right in front of the warehouse, being the complete opposite of discreet as possible. Hoping, even if it is a setup, that it would draw attention. Whatever attention it could draw at ten o'clock tonight here at a known drug trading corner.

He followed the fence around to the side of the building farthest from the street and found the hole he and Grint made back when they were in high school. He squeezed through and walked into the vine-covered building. He stood in the middle of the wide-open room where he got his first taste of what ruined his life, waiting for it all to end – one way or another.

The time that they agreed upon passed, but Theo wasn't surprised. Grint loved to make people wait, especially when it put them that much more on edge. But then another hour passed, and Theo's worries turned to confusion. And with another, his confusion into fear. He knew... Not even his backup plan would work now.

A spike of odd relief went through him as someone walked into the large room. But right away, Theo could tell it wasn't Grint, just based on the walk. "Hey! Hey, you!" A light blinded Theo. "This building is private property. Hey! Don't move!" Theo took off, running in the opposite direction; he couldn't waste this opportunity. If he got arrested, if he was in jail when Rim got there, it'd definitely all be over. With painful grace, he slid through an opening in the back wall of the room. Using instinct rather than sight, he ran through the escape route he and Grint had used many times before. In just a few turns, he was out of the building. He ran to the car, flew into the driver seat, and peeled out of the parking lot.

Bengee popped his head up, "Sorry about that, buddy. Great job, though." But Bengee just stared. Theo had been set up, that's for sure, but he didn't understand how or why. What if this was part of Missy’s plan? Maybe they caught Grint on the way to the warehouse? It didn't matter. There was only one thing to do now. Theo called his mom as he sped his way to his house. He told her to pack her and Leo's things. "We have to leave tonight!" There was no way to know what Grint was planning if this was his setup, but there was one way to foil it. "We're just leaving. I don't care where, but WE Are going." Even with everything already packed, he’d just grab the essentials and go.

But traveling was never that easy...

After skidding around a few corners, Theo brought the SUV to a crawl down his road, being sure to scan every inch. Finally, after doubling back, he pulled into his driveway. Bengee climbed over Theo's lap in order to get out of the car and immediately ran to pee in a bush. Theo took a deep breath and walked to his door. It’s almost over. Just grab the bags, and we'll hit the road. But he just couldn't help but shake the feeling something was off. It just didn't make sense. He let the door swing open and bang against the wall. The house was pitch black and silent – deafly silent. Reaching around the door frame, he clicked the light switch up. Nothing happened. Is the power off? Bengee bolted into the house, and in rapid order, quicker than ever before, he said, "Theo. Go. Outside." Followed by a very loud yelp.

"Bengee!?" Theo followed into the house. A lamp flipped on almost right in front of Theo, blinding him. A simple squeeze to his sides brought him to his knees. "I told you. I'm not as stupid as you think. How long you wait there, hopeful? Thinkin I'd actually come?" Theo stayed on all fours, clenching his eyes shut from both pains, his sides and his eyes. He felt Grint's breath in his ear. "You're gonna wanna see this. Open those shining coppers." Theo blinked a few times; as his eyes adjusted, he could hear Bengee beginning to whine. When he finally could see, he looked up; Grint stood holding Bengee. He had one arm around Bengee's neck and the other under his front legs. Bengee kicked wildly with his back legs, more like a cat than a dog, but the few kicks that landed just slid off Grint's leather jacket. Theo was lifted off the ground with two arms wrapped around his shoulders; his sides screamed in protest. "You hoped these dogs could count on you, didn't you? You hope that helping them would make you feel better?" Grint said, struggling to hold Bengee's head still. "Many things, they don't even know how to die properly." He almost lost his grip for a moment as Bengee squirmed.

"You're wrong." Theo groaned; his pain caused spots in his eyes, but still, he fought. "It wasn't about making me feel better. It was about making them feel better." He managed to get an arm loose for just a moment before pain flared in his sides from claw-like fingers digging into them. "But you wouldn't understand a relationship where you don't get anything out of it, would you? A relationship that is fueled by compassion and feeling, not control and fear." 

"I gave you everything!" Grint yelled, taking a step toward Theo. Causing him to lose his grip on Bengee's front legs. Bengee twisted and flopped out of his grasp. Despite landing hard on the floor, he popped up and darted toward Theo. Passed Theo. A scream rattled Theo's eardrum, and the person holding him was torn away. A flare of pain wrecked through his body as he dropped to the floor. Without much thought, he pushed up off the ground and faced Grint. But he was gone. Theo scanned the room as Bengee scuffled with Rim.

"You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?" Theo was jostled by a familiar backhand, caught, and wrapped up in another grip. Grint held him, squeezing their bodies together with his arm around Theo's ribs. Theo did his best to ignore the painful pressure, his adrenaline running high enough to help block it out. "I'm done! Call off the mutt!" Grint yelled, his face right next to Theo's. He held something threatening in his hand, but Theo couldn't get a good angle on it. 

"Bengee." His friend turned, anger and fear in his wide eyes. "Heel." Bengee slowly backed off Rim, whose arms were bleeding and had a bad scratch across his face. "What now?" Theo said, still trying to see what it was Grint held. 

"Now. Now, we do what we agreed upon." Grint stretched out a hand, showing Theo a large syringe filled to the brim with a blue liquid. "But, I can't take you back. Not after how much you've broke my trust. I truly hate to say it, but we're through, Theo."

Theo felt a quick stab into his left arm and an odd spread of cold around his shoulder. Bengee cried out and darted toward Theo. Rim, still recovering, wasn't quick enough to grab him. Bengee jumped and hit Theo in the chest with all his paws, knocking him back on top of Grint. The syringe flicked out with a tear that Theo saw or then felt. The room began to swirl with blues and reds. A commotion, too quick for Theo to process, blurred in his peripheral. A scream, a yelp, and a lot of crashing sounded around him. He pushed himself up to all fours. Like a dog, Ha! He felt an odd pressure in his side, and with a jarring thud, he was on his back once again. His old lover's face hung over his, "You won’t die alone, you snitch. I wish I'd never have meant you. What's so funny?" 

Theo heard himself laughing, "I've felt that way for YEARS about you. Glad it's mutual." His words were slurred, but Theo could tell they were coherent enough. Grint backhanded him again, but Theo didn't feel it. He was too distracted by the red and blue swirls and that terrible noise he was hearing. 

Grint disappeared out of view, and in what felt like hours, Theo managed to turn himself over on all fours again. When he rose his head to see where he was, the worst thing possible greeted him.

Bengee lay there, convulsing, with a syringe still protruding from his side. Theo's own arm was beginning to shake, No. Not him. 

Theo pushed himself up to his knees and then stood. He could feel his blood rush around, carrying the drug quicker through his system. He stumbled but grabbed his recliner. Come on, you used to be able to dance while on this stuff. Come On! Don't let him down, not like the others. So much time passed as he blinked his heavy eyes. But his tunnel vision saw that Bengee still moving. Theo still had time. "One leg. In front of. The other." Theo collapsed halfway to Bengee. But still, he pushed, crawling, barely in control of himself. Neither of them had to be alone, not this time.

Hours, years, and seconds later, Theo got to Bengee. And Theo curled up next to him, hugging him. Doing the only thing he wanted to do for Rose, for Fredy. The one thing he wanted for himself the night he lay on the living room floor. The night, he lay there dying alone and scared before seeing his mom's horrified face. But that wasn't tonight. Tonight, they had each other.

He held Bengee, brushing his soft coat with a jerky hand. “It will be okay. Everything will be fine, buddy." Theo hoped Bengee found as much comfort from Theo's presents as Theo did his. A wave of blissful relief washed over Theo as he faded away into the black.

+++++

Theo's mom walked into a room where they had the two bodies. Her heart screamed in agony. My boy... My baby... And his baby... But she stayed professional, even as tears ran down her face. "Are they..."

She turned to the doctor as a monitor beeped in the corner of the hospital room. "The dog, surprisingly, will make it. There just so happened to be a veterinarian nurse on the raiding team. She said she knew your son somehow." The doctor continued. "Yes, well, Theodor just so happened to have some dog anti-seizure medication; this definitely lessened the trauma for him. The problem being," Theo's mom braced herself, "That the dog got very little of the drug. Your son received almost seven mLs. Enough to overdose at least five of even the worst addicts." She let out a sob but waved for the doctor to go on. "Luckily, though. There was already an ambulance with the police. And even more lucky, it seems like the needle was literally torn out of his arm. Causing massive blood loss at the injection site. Meaning he bled out much of the drug before it could be absorbed."

"So..." She wipes her cheeks clear. "How is he?"

"This being his second massive seizure, he won’t be coming out of this the same as before. There was damage to two parts of his brain. He'll need physical therapy and be on a strict regimen of therapeutic drugs. But," The doctor took a deep breath, "they'll both live."

+++++

Bengee limped past Theo as he rolled up to the newly built ramp at his mom's house. "I still don't understand why I need the wheelchair," Theo said, straining to get up the ramp. Bengee barked. "I've been walking at the hospital for the past two months."

"Yes, in water and with a walker. But do you really think you can make it up this ramp by yourself?" His mom said with the face of a mom who is simply telling the truth. "Now, Bengee, on the other hand." He barked in response. "Though still limping and slower than before, was given the all clear!" She tossed him a treat and grabbed the back of Theo's wheelchair just as he lost his grip halfway up the ramp.

They headed to the house, which had a home-cooked meal that Theo was dying for. They had their tea, sitting on the porch, watching the leaves fall from the trees.

"I've been meaning to ask; do you know how the police got there?" Theo's mom asked, placing her empty cup on the table. "I did what you asked when you called me that night. When I didn't hear back from you, I called the cops and told them my car had been stolen. But... For there to be so many cops there for just a stolen car..."

From inside the house, coming from the open window behind them, Bengee said, "Medicine. Friend. Help."

Theo's mom had a shiver run up her spine. She still was getting used to Bengee talking. "Yeah, the one who gave Bengee the medicine. She knew Grint wouldn't show up to the warehouse. So, when they got the call about your stolen vehicle, she knew I'd be headed back to my place and had the cop at the warehouse follow me. In turn, giving the raiding party my location." Theo shrugged and smiled. "I don't care how she did it, just glad that Grint and Rim were caught."

His mom rubbed his back, "Me too. Will I ever be able to thank her?"

Theo shook his head, "She visited me in the hospital just a few days after everything. Apparently, making good on their deal, the cops are putting her into a witness protection program. They're even getting her rehab as a part of it."

"Speaking of rehab?"

He sighed. "I don't think I need it." She stared at him wide-eyed; he just smiled. "I'm too focused on recovering to care about Using. Plus, Bengee wouldn't forgive me if I used again."

"Yes. Mad. Broken. Theo." Bengee tapped from behind them again.

They laughed. "Are you sure you're okay to testify next week?" she asked gently, worried but hopeful.

"Damn straight! I have no reason to hide anything anymore."

Theo rolled into the house, "Speaking of mad. Guess what?" Bengee barked, tail wagging, anticipating. "I have a new button for you to learn," Theo said with a smile.

Bengee's tail dropped, and he limped over to the buttons, "Bored. Bored."

"It’s going to take me so long to get used to that." Theo's mom said, taking the cups to the kitchen.

Theo placed the button on the ground. "Just you wait," He said with a sly smile and pushed the button. It echoed him. "Mom."